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Play a Winning Game: Collaborate

Competition is a powerful driving force. Much of the game of life, as we’ve set it up, is based on win-lose scenarios fueled by competitive mindsets and behaviors. Nothing wrong with this — only problem is if we don’t evolve past this level. To play a bigger game — a winning game — requires strategic…

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What Your Resting Face Says About You

I was recently leading a training on the power of nonverbal communication – a third of which is made up of facial expression – and the subject of “the resting face” came up. While we hope that most of communication is conscious and intentional, we know that much of what is said – and unsaid…

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From Screwed to Shrewd

There is such a thing as being too NICE – that is, Nonresistant, Insecure, Compliant and Enduring…in other words, passive. Being kind is very different. That’s more about compassion, empathy and connection to others. But I’m not writing about kindness here. Many of us have felt taken advantage of, been passed up for promotions and…

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Link the Silos

I call it my “high-heels culture test.” I can walk into a firm or office and gauge — in the short distance walk between the elevator and the receptionist’s desk — whether the culture of the place is collaborative or competitive. If I’m self-consciously hyper aware of the deafening thumping sound of my heels on the…

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Be a 30% Talker but a 100% Communicator

I heard a helpful saying the other day: We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak. If only that was true! Most of us speak far too much and listen far too little — to our own detriments. In an effort to improve our interpersonal communication…

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Hocus Focus

It’s the most powerful tool we have to achieve our goals: FOCUS. And yes, it works like magic. I’ve recently meandered down several professional paths and in the spirit of being open-minded and opportunity-oriented, I’ve met many interesting, passionate and successful people. Some of the conversations I had and meetings I attended were energizing and…

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Stop Interrogating, Start Understanding

What’s the difference between asking and interrogating? When we ask someone a question, or a series of questions, we come from a place of curiosity. When we interrogate someone, we approach them from a place of judgment. The difference is in the intention and the outcomes of the two interactions are polar opposites. When a…

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Stop Judging and Start Appreciating

Why do bad conversations take place between good people? Too many unfortunate times, it’s because we judge rather than appreciate each other. We analyze, categorize and evaluate other people’s actions as good or bad, right or wrong, smart or foolish. A colleague, a friend or a family member will tell us they’re stressed and overwhelmed…

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