Books

STOP BLOCKING,
START CONNECTING
8 Key Skills of Successful Communicators

Over 90% of the communication problems that plague our life are the dreadful barriers that get in the way of happy relationships and productive interactions. Most of the drama we experience is caused by communication blockers, the regretful words that spring off the tips of our tongues or fingers, ready to cause conflict and chaos.Stop Blocking, Start Connecting shows readers how to transform relationships by recognizing where they get blocked, reducing bad communication habits, removing the 8 common blockers and replacing them with 8 powerful connectors.

Every Problem is a Communication Problem

blockers1-solo

Blocker #1: Fixing

  • Creates co-dependence
  • Removes responsibility
  • Leads to more problems

Connectors1-solo

Connector #1: Empowering

  • Focus on desirable outcomes + serve as a sounding board
  • Help them arrive at their own solutions
  • Champion others by providing encouraging words and reminding them of past successes
  • Share your method for arriving at decisions – don’t decide for them

blockers2-solo

Blocker #2: Topping

  • Shifts focus from speaker
  • Dwarfs the speaker’s issue
  • Can lead to increased anxiety

Connectors2-solo

Connector #2: Listening

  • Focus your attention on the story and details that they are sharing
  • Avoid jumping in with your similar experience
  • Listen to them and don’t shift the focus to you
  • Understand and relate but don’t one-up or compare

blockers3-solo

Blocker #3: Multi-tasking

  • Divides attention
  • Makes others feel unimportant
  • Ignores and alienates
  • Doesn’t allow for eye contact

Connectors3-solo

Connector #3: Focusing

  • Be present and alert
  • Make eye contact
  • Concentrate on your conversation
  • Avoid distractions like technology
  • Connect with their words and the feelings behind those words

blockers4-solo

Blocker #4: Trivalizing

  • “I’m drowning” –
    “You’re a great swimmer!”
  • Doesn’t acknowledge our feelings
  • Can make us feel lonely or more anxious

Connectors4-solo

Connector #4: Validating

  • Remember what it was like not to know
  • Recognize the worthiness and legitimacy of their concern
  • Don’t diminish their problem
  • Provide supportive words that will validate their feelings and position
  • Recognize the many activities and subjects that make you feel clueless
  • Use your knowledge to help others grow and develop

blockers5-solo

Blocker #5: Analyizing

  • Makes others feel judged
  • Makes others feel unappreciated and misunderstood
  • Makes the problem seem
    bigger or deeper

Connectors5-solo

Connector #5: Appreciating

  • Value their perspective & manner of seeing / experiencing the world
  • Respect their opinion
  • Appreciate their approach
  • Avoid judging and evaluating
  • Appreciate their unique talents
    & skills

blockers6-solo

Blocker #6: Interrogating

  • Disrupts, interrupts and frustrates
  • Takes speaker off topic and on tangents
  • Draws conversation out

Connectors6-solo

Connector #6: Understanding

  • Seek to understand the issue
  • Listen wholeheartedly
  • Hear them out completely
    before interjecting with questions
  • Ask relevant questions that
    probe the situation
  • Don’t doubt them or make assumptions

blockers7-solo

Blocker #7: Chastising

  • Belittles the person sharing the issue
  • Demeans, disrespects and discourages
  • Leads to resentment and avoidance

Connectors7-solo

Connector #7: Responding

  • Be proactive by focusing on the desirable outcome
  • Resist reactive communication
  • Don’t use chastising words that demean and discourage
  • Discuss and demonstrate appropriate / preferred actions

blockers8-solo

Blocker #8: Over-Sympathizing

  • Victimizes and renders the
    person powerless
  • Removes control and capability
  • Can lead to feeling awkward
    and uncomfortable

Connectors8-solo

Connector #8: Empathizing

  • Acknowledge their emotions
  • Be compassionate and merciful
  • Don’t victimize them
  • Don’t make them feel helpless
    and powerless

We look forward to collaborating with you!

Though unintended, and often unconscious, we all communicate in ways that prevent us from being present and receptive in our professional interactions, interfering with our desired business objective to attract and retain clients. This experiential program provides participants with the know-how to identify these obstacles, and replace them with communication tools that enhance client engagement and retention. Participants will also be introduced to the most recent research on how to create connections that turn current clients into referral sources.

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