When did we make a collective decision to hide our struggles and vulnerability in our places of work? There’s an unstated belief we seem to be operating under – that professionalism is equated with superhuman power, control, and the ability to compartmentalize. What if we realized that being an integrated human, who shows up to work with all the different parts of life’s experience, is essential to aligning our relationships and enhancing our results?
When I coach executives and employees, they often share what challenges them, what aspirations they have, what they’re proud of, what keeps them up at night, what motivates them, and what brings them true appreciation and lasting joy. In other words, what makes them an authentic human being. At the top of our coaching sessions, they’ll also spell out the interpersonal issues they’re facing with colleagues, clients, and customers, and the various conflicts and problems that require my communication, management, and leadership expertise to resolve.
What we end up finding most interesting, is that there’s a major disconnect between who they are authentically and how they approach their relationships in the name of productivity. They assume that being a leader means to put into a compartment all the attributes that make them a whole person, to be strategic and rational. After problems persist and patterns repeat, however, they recognize that leaving out their essence from conversations, negotiations, and presentations is the very reason for missed opportunities, understanding, and connection.
How can we practically integrate those very areas of our lives that make us human into our work interactions, in a manner that elevates performance and fulfillment?
- Intention and Impact: Before meetings and various interactions throughout the day, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling, what’s going on for you, who will you be interfacing with, and what might they be going through? Then consciously select one or two genuine intentions that will allow you to express yourself meaningfully. The intentions, for example, may be to support, listen, empathize, share, story-tell, etc.
- Positivity and Productivity: Consciously select one or two ways to bring both positivity strengths (trust, respect, camaraderie, communication, constructive interaction, value for diversity, optimism, open-mindedness, fun, teamwork) and productivity strengths (efficiency, focus, clarity, drive, goals, strategies) to integrate humanity with objectives.
- Permission and Alignment: Give team members the permission to express their level of comfort, competence, and commitment related to a task, goal, or role. Consciously build in check-ins to ask for help.
Notice that each of these practical approaches to create authentic interaction in the workplace involves conscious choice-making. Integrating what makes us authentic with what the day and team require will create the impact that brings true and real meaning to our work.
